Wartime Nightmares
by AlexisLe97
Summary: Pony wake up one morning feeling empty and cold. Until memories come flooding back. Pony is too smart for this.


War, an Outsiders Fanfic by:AlexisLe97

Betaed by:Sammy4eva

Dedicated to: Readers and Writers everywhere.

Disclaimers: I do not own the Outsiders, S.E. Hinton owns it. Well, Susie, my birthday is coming. (wink,wink.)

A/N: This is post-book. I will not tell you TOO much, since it'll ruin the fun.

Pony's POV

I felt the sun shining over the curtain to my cold skin. I felt so cold and empty inside and outside. I looked over to see no one sleeping beside me, snoring slightly with his arm draped over me. I could no longer hear the music of his happy heart. Years ago I would have thought he has already woken up. Now I know he's never going to wake again. Great here comes the rain. I wiped the tear that is burning my skin slightly. I wouldn't want Darry to worry about it, since he got his own problems.

I cleared the space of the empty room to the door. I needed a shower badly. It wasn't because I smelled.

When I got in the shower the tears welled up and spilled over like the river. I cried quietly so Darry wouldn't hear me. The tears I cried and the shower water mixed up. I'm drenched in my own pain.

"Ponyboy, you in there?" Darry yelled over the shower.

"Yeah," I replied. My voice sounded hoarse from all the crying.

"Well breakfast is done. Get out of the shower; you've been there for thirty minutes already. Leave some hot water for me." There's no use calling me out, I won't eat much anyway.

But I just obeyed and got out. The mirror was fogged. Well, I must have been there for a long time, but hey I needed to think of the people I lost. My memory's at rest, but I can never forget. Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last.

Meanwhile

Darry's POV

I know Pony's crying in there. That's where he cries. That's where I cry too, I couldn't be strong again. I try to stay strong for Pony. I love Soda too, but I handle death better than Pony. But, I die on the inside. It's been months and I can't say I got over it. I never did and never will.

Pony's POV

After breakfast I went to school. I was living in that vacuum again; the one I lived in when people passed away. Back then I had the gang help me get through it, now I only had Two-Bit and Darry. Steve was still at the horrible place that took the lives of many. Two-Bit can be a really good listener if he wasn't drunk. Darry had too much work now, since Soda won't be bringing in money. My heart still ached for the sound of his voice, one last time. I stilled prayed for him to come home.

After school I walked home with Two-Bit. He was wisecracking again. I smiled as he said one of his jokes. He's also pained, I can tell. He tried to hide it behind a wall of happiness, but slightly, just slightly, the pain's still there. As we passed the DX station, it wasn't swarming with girls like it used to be or filled with cars. With the two of them gone people got their gas somewhere else, and when the news about Soda got out, girls protested and there was never a girl there again. Eventually it had to be closed down. It now sat empty. It used to be filled with life and now it's gone. Just like Soda.

Flashback

"Hey, Pone," Soda said as he took off his shoes and drank chocolate milk from the bottle. I was in the living room reading Gone With the Wind. Two-Bit was watching a marathon of Mickey.

"I got any mail?"

"Nah, but I think Darry's got them." I replied without looking up from my book. It was when the southern men rode into sure death because they were gallant. It was Johnny's favorite part.

As if on cue, Darry came out.

"Hey Soda, did you do something illegal?" Darry questioned. If I hadn't seen the look on his face, I would have thought he was just bugging Soda.

"No, why?" Soda asked carefully, like if he didn't he might drop the words or somethin'. I looked up at their conversation. It got deathly quiet until Steve barged in. Tear streaks covered his face. In his hand was the same letter Soda had received, opened...

End of Flashback

After I was done with homework and took a shower I waited for Darry to come home. I made a bird for him. When he came home, we ate. I asked him how his day was and vice versa. I went to bed and Darry got to his second job. I love my brothers; I need them. I don't need to deal with death.

Two-Bit came back drunk a while after Darry left. At lease I won't be so alone now.

Flashback

"Hey Soda and Steve, you better be careful out there, alright little buddy?" Darry spoke for the two of us. Even as Soda was about to leave for war he still had that carefree look in his eyes.

"Yeah, and when me and Stevie here come home we'll throw a party." Steve threw a loud 'Whoop' at his response. Darry rolled his eyes.

"Hey, could I have Steve for a moment?" Evie sobbed. Steve went to Evie and when they were out of hearing distance, she cried and lectured him.

"Hey Soda, you promise you'll come home, please." I tried desperately. I knew him and Steve both didn't want to go to 'Nam. They both desperately tried to fail the drafting tests.

"Yeah, I'll try." The three of us hugged, not caring what others might think. Steve and Evie were kissing intensely like it was their last.

"Flight 315 to 'Nam"

Two-Bit also got drafted but wasn't able to pass the test. Lucky him, I don't know if he came to the testing drunk on purpose or he was always drunk. The announcer interrupted what everyone was doing. Steve and Soda said 'Farewell' for the last time and left. Darry offered to drive Evie home since she was a mess. After a while she broke down again. She sobbed for the whole ride home. She honestly didn't care about what we would think of her. All she knows is Steve is gone. Two-Bit was trying to convince himself that everything will be alright and Darry got tears in his eyes quietly. I broke down too, but on the inside.

End of Flashback

I was looking for a book to read but came upon an old box. It was filled with Soda's letters that he sent me. Most of them explained what happened there but the last one scared me.

Dear Pony,

I really missed you and Darry. Steve says 'hi'. Well, I think we are winning but I may be wrong. I don't even know how to use my gun. Funny, I know. All I do is try to hide when I hear the loud whistle. Steve is better than me though. He's faster and hides better. He knows how to use his gun too. But he gets nightmares. I could barely sleep around him because he'd wake up screamin' bloody murder and cryin' in the heat of the night. He's going crazy man.

Well, I've been shot. I honestly don't know if I'll make it. I'm starting to feel funny. The nurses say there's not much of a chance. I don't want to take any risks, so I'm writing this letter to you in case I don't make it. Darry also gets one. Well, if I don't Pony, I want you to stay strong. I remember what you told me about staying gold. It's like all the innocence you have when you're a kid, but when you grow you lose it. I want you to stay gold. It's a great way to be.

I don't want you to cry over me. I want you to remember me and be happy; you knew me for 16 years.

I want you to smile every time you see jelly with eggs or pass the DX station.

I want you to tell stories about me to your kids about his crazy assed uncle Soda. I'll miss you and Darry both, but I'll be in heaven with mom, dad, Johnnycake and hopefully Dal, ha-ha, just kiddin'. I'll be watching you if I don't make it. I tried. I really did Pony. Just remember me.

Look, I'm not sad about dying, I mean 16 years is long and I've lived a great life. You shouldn't mope around the house. I'm still living, just not in my body. Please continue living.

I'm not mad at the guy who shot me; I mean he probably doesn't like this anymore than I do. He also has a life, or had. Steve killed him after I got shot. He's here with me and I'm glad it's that way. I always wanted to die with the ones I love near me. Steve's here and you and Darry are here too, in my heart. I mean I know I'm never alone. I feel your love everywhere I go and I hope you can too. Stay Gold.

I love you.

Sodapop Curtis

I smiled. Soda still had the ability to make people smile no matter what. I read that letter every day. It helps me get through another day. Darry has his own copy too. Soda wrote us all letters before he died. I had to help Two-Bit read his. Maybe my source of hope is dead in his body, but he's still here with me. I feel his heart beating with minutes as a sweet similar song I'm used to. He's still with me.

So? Did you like? Hate? Both? Well, I won't knokw unless you*drumroll* REVIEW! For my other fanfic, I got about 200 hits and 14 reviews :( Come on people I know you're here!

But seriously, reviews are love, leave me some. :)


End file.
